"Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life..."
There is so much living left to do,
I am following my feet
It’s about one moment.
Moments that define you
and moments that redefine you.
E: What is it that you want?
K: No one has ever asked me that before.
E: Well, I’m asking. What do you want?
K: I don’t know.
E: Well, which way are your feet pointed?
K: They are pointed forward.
E: So you are trying to move away from what you once were?
K: Yes.
E: So what is stopping you?
K: I don’t know.
E: Yes, you do. What is holding you back? What are you afraid of losing?
K: Myself. I’m afraid of losing myself.
E: Why are you trying to change directions then?
K: Because it needs to happen, I am just afraid.
E: Once you know, you will be able to do it
Saturday, October 16, 2010
a presentation for school.
The power of words.
Paul Klee said “I create pour ne pas pleurer.” I create so as not to cry.
Mahatma Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world”
I draw my idea from Pablo Neruda’s poem, The Word. Neruda is a Chilean poet and politician and he wrote this poem wherein the opening line is: “You can say anything you want, yes sir, but it’s the words that sing, they soar and descend ….I bow to them…I love them…”
The power of a word.
Our words, our different language registers allow us to navigate and communicate through the many worlds we are in. As a child I wrote plays and had them performed, I wrote monologues, poetry and stories that allowed me to express myself through my childhood, teen angst years and now as an adult. My career is a teacher, but I am a writer. In the higher education world I may throw around words such as pedagogy, theory, self-efficacy. In my teaching world I use literacy, numerous acronyms, and school success. In my classroom I use colloquialisms, Whudups, I'm in, and Peace out. I also use mutual respect, our “truths”, and empathy. My words hold power in the worlds in which I navigate. As I reflect on my world I am reminded of a phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can shatter the soul”. I think this is true. Words like, NO, Can’t, Never, talent, right, standards, they all have power. The 10 year old girl inside me remembers when a boy told me that I could not sing. To this day I remember those words. I downright refused to sing for many, many years in front of other people. Interestingly enough I find myself in a theatre world where I direct musicals. I was forced to face my fear and sing in front of the students. With shaky hands and a red face I did a mock audition for my students. I sang a song with hesitancy, but their voices cheered me on. After I was done a 10 year old came up to me and said, “See Katy, singing isn’t that hard”. We have all heard no, can’t, never, before. And since we are here I am sure we have heard, can, do, and talent as well.
I’m going to switch gears. Silence also has power. The Day of Silence is a day that our high school participates in. "On the National Day of Silence hundreds of thousands of students nationwide take a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in their schools". My high school participated in this day that encourages us to be silent to remember those who did not have the voice to speak. I have dreams of using tableau images on this day to give students something to think about.
I could give you a list of my credentials, I could stand here and recite a list of my accomplishments, my background in the arts, how I play, or why I am even in this course. But little do you know I am just like you. With dark clouds and sunny days. I am privileged. Connections. Perhaps you are striving to make one with me now. To smile that knowing smile when I mention something you can relate to. To see your eyes open wider as I mention somewhere you have been or see the tears in your eyes if my story was able to connect to you on a deeper level. The power of words. And the power of silence all in one.
What I will tell you is: I am an arts advocate and I am a social justice advocate. I believe in the power of art to change, transform, make you think, affect you, entertain you, be cathartic, make it a little less boring, be used as an outlet, be used as a platform, learn and teach empathy, explore, challenge, reinvent, allow for play, to be beautiful, to explain, to understand and the list could go on and on.
I believe in the power of words and the power of silence.
I create so as not to cry.
Paul Klee said “I create pour ne pas pleurer.” I create so as not to cry.
Mahatma Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world”
I draw my idea from Pablo Neruda’s poem, The Word. Neruda is a Chilean poet and politician and he wrote this poem wherein the opening line is: “You can say anything you want, yes sir, but it’s the words that sing, they soar and descend ….I bow to them…I love them…”
The power of a word.
Our words, our different language registers allow us to navigate and communicate through the many worlds we are in. As a child I wrote plays and had them performed, I wrote monologues, poetry and stories that allowed me to express myself through my childhood, teen angst years and now as an adult. My career is a teacher, but I am a writer. In the higher education world I may throw around words such as pedagogy, theory, self-efficacy. In my teaching world I use literacy, numerous acronyms, and school success. In my classroom I use colloquialisms, Whudups, I'm in, and Peace out. I also use mutual respect, our “truths”, and empathy. My words hold power in the worlds in which I navigate. As I reflect on my world I am reminded of a phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can shatter the soul”. I think this is true. Words like, NO, Can’t, Never, talent, right, standards, they all have power. The 10 year old girl inside me remembers when a boy told me that I could not sing. To this day I remember those words. I downright refused to sing for many, many years in front of other people. Interestingly enough I find myself in a theatre world where I direct musicals. I was forced to face my fear and sing in front of the students. With shaky hands and a red face I did a mock audition for my students. I sang a song with hesitancy, but their voices cheered me on. After I was done a 10 year old came up to me and said, “See Katy, singing isn’t that hard”. We have all heard no, can’t, never, before. And since we are here I am sure we have heard, can, do, and talent as well.
I’m going to switch gears. Silence also has power. The Day of Silence is a day that our high school participates in. "On the National Day of Silence hundreds of thousands of students nationwide take a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in their schools". My high school participated in this day that encourages us to be silent to remember those who did not have the voice to speak. I have dreams of using tableau images on this day to give students something to think about.
I could give you a list of my credentials, I could stand here and recite a list of my accomplishments, my background in the arts, how I play, or why I am even in this course. But little do you know I am just like you. With dark clouds and sunny days. I am privileged. Connections. Perhaps you are striving to make one with me now. To smile that knowing smile when I mention something you can relate to. To see your eyes open wider as I mention somewhere you have been or see the tears in your eyes if my story was able to connect to you on a deeper level. The power of words. And the power of silence all in one.
What I will tell you is: I am an arts advocate and I am a social justice advocate. I believe in the power of art to change, transform, make you think, affect you, entertain you, be cathartic, make it a little less boring, be used as an outlet, be used as a platform, learn and teach empathy, explore, challenge, reinvent, allow for play, to be beautiful, to explain, to understand and the list could go on and on.
I believe in the power of words and the power of silence.
I create so as not to cry.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
new beginnings
today i had closure. it has been a whirlwind of a week and i feel that i have grown as a person. i talked to and saw my ex-boyfriend this week. i think that is the first time i have referred to him as my ex-boyfriend. we had a coffee today together and got caught up on the last year or so of our lives. seemingly leaving out details of other people we may or may not have seen throughout the year out of respect. it was a good coffee.
i also decided i am done talking about another man that was in my life and hurt me incredibly badly. he lied and denied much of what we had, he back pedaled and emailed and tried to talk to me about all of it, but i am done. it was hard to not respond to his emails. but every day it gets easier. through this i have confided in and gained a wonderful friend. so i look at this as a positive. i have gained perspective and a new outlook.
so today is the last day that i speak of him. today is the last day i let him hurt my heart. and today is the first day that i choose me, above everything, i choose me.
"hear my song
it'll help you believe in tomorrow
hear my song
it'll show you the way you can shine
hear my song
it was made for the time
when you don't know where to go
listen to the song that i sing
you'll be fine"
i also decided i am done talking about another man that was in my life and hurt me incredibly badly. he lied and denied much of what we had, he back pedaled and emailed and tried to talk to me about all of it, but i am done. it was hard to not respond to his emails. but every day it gets easier. through this i have confided in and gained a wonderful friend. so i look at this as a positive. i have gained perspective and a new outlook.
so today is the last day that i speak of him. today is the last day i let him hurt my heart. and today is the first day that i choose me, above everything, i choose me.
"hear my song
it'll help you believe in tomorrow
hear my song
it'll show you the way you can shine
hear my song
it was made for the time
when you don't know where to go
listen to the song that i sing
you'll be fine"
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Songs for a New World - Opening
" a new world calls across the ocean
a new world calls across the sky
a new world whispers in the shadows
time to fly, time to fly
it's about one moment
the moment before it all becomes clear
and in that one moment
you start to believe there is nothing to fear
it's about one second
and just when you're on the verge of success
the sky starts to change and the wind starts to blow
and you're suddenly a stranger
there's no explaining where you stand
and you don't know
but you sometimes have to go
'round an unexpected bend
and the road will end
in a new world"
a new world calls across the sky
a new world whispers in the shadows
time to fly, time to fly
it's about one moment
the moment before it all becomes clear
and in that one moment
you start to believe there is nothing to fear
it's about one second
and just when you're on the verge of success
the sky starts to change and the wind starts to blow
and you're suddenly a stranger
there's no explaining where you stand
and you don't know
but you sometimes have to go
'round an unexpected bend
and the road will end
in a new world"
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
together we cry.
why is it that bad things always happen to good people?
maybe you could find solace in knowing your body knows what is best for you.
maybe not.
maybe you could live with the saying, "everything happens for a reason"
maybe not.
maybe you could remember that time will heal.
maybe not.
maybe this will make you stronger.
maybe not.
maybe we just have to accept that horrible things happen, for no reason and we can hope that the emptiness will subside.
maybe we just need to have hope.
maybe not.
together we cry.
maybe you could find solace in knowing your body knows what is best for you.
maybe not.
maybe you could live with the saying, "everything happens for a reason"
maybe not.
maybe you could remember that time will heal.
maybe not.
maybe this will make you stronger.
maybe not.
maybe we just have to accept that horrible things happen, for no reason and we can hope that the emptiness will subside.
maybe we just need to have hope.
maybe not.
together we cry.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
World's Weight
balance. life is all about balance.
it is also about love and happiness and sacrifce.
the worlds weight is making my shoulders hurt. but if i stop trying to help, then i feel like i am giving up. i feel like i will be choosing what is important and what isnt. and it is all important, to someone, somewhere.
intuitive. easy to read people.
my virtue is my vice.
it is also about love and happiness and sacrifce.
the worlds weight is making my shoulders hurt. but if i stop trying to help, then i feel like i am giving up. i feel like i will be choosing what is important and what isnt. and it is all important, to someone, somewhere.
intuitive. easy to read people.
my virtue is my vice.
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