"find a way to smile and never let it get away"

they said things would get better. they are.
they said that the first year would be hard. it is.
they said i deserve better. i do.
they said that i should have gotten out of it a long time ago. i know.
they said you only hear what you want to. it's true.
they said to get back on the horse. i did.
they said i should do what makes me happy. literally, ha.
they said it will just take time. how much?
they said do not run away. i won't.
they said to just jump. i'm thinking about it.
they said i should find my way to smile. i am.
forever. i am.

opportunity. closure. optimism.

"i'ts been a long december, but i have reason to believe, that maybe this year will be better than the last. i can't remember all those times i tried to tell myself, to hold on to these moments as they pass" - counting crows

so one door closes and a window pops open. but the window is a bit more dangerous. a little high off the ground, and i am afraid of heights. but it looks so nice outside the window. you can get a pretty good view of whats going on from this angle, even if i havent hopped through it yet. i think ill try my best to climb through it. perhaps it is just what i need.

"slowly getting closure, i guess its really over. i'm finally getting better and now im picking up the pieces, spending all of these years, putting my heart back together. cause the day i never thought id get through, i got over you." -chris daughtry

ooooOOOOooooOOOOoooo

get out of my friends, get out of my head, get out of my life...
you are just not worth my thoughts and time...yet still you linger.
i cannot erase you. i dont want to forget you. you will ensure that i never,
ever make the same mistake again.
i thought you were my best friend, i thought i was lucky to be in love with my best friend
....
and here i am. paving a new way. doing nice things for good people,
just because people need to know how great they are. to me.
people need to be reminded of who cares.
i am surrounded by good people...so why do i feel so...
....
"reachin' for the phone cause i can't fight it anymore

i said i wouldnt call, but im a little drunk and i need you now"

"i wonder if i ever cross your mind"

what a night. what a week. perhaps it is just what i need.
sometimes you just gotta let things go.

"I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. When people walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anyone that left. And it doesn't mean they are a bad person, it just means their part in your story is over".

gooodness.

s-wicked convo. feeling better for sure. still angry as all hell, but better. i thought i already had this phase...i guess i was wrong.

maybe everything will start coming up k-pop?

still have to do a paper...get Grease a-goin', finish writing play....loves it.

im in. :-) i am most definitely in.

"the day i never thought i'd get through, i got over you"

new outlook. new focus. good friends and good times. nothing should be this complicated. trying to analyze less.

i'm better than you think i am.
i trust more than i need to.
i'm in a bit over my head.
finding solace this long weekend.
backyard bbq's and girlie drinks.
new outlook.
i'm over it.

april 6th. final hurdle.